Why It’s So Hard to Talk about Israel & Gaza

The war in Gaza has proven to be one of the most difficult topics in our public conversation in decades. Matters involving politics and/or religion always have the potential to invoke strong feelings but this issue has created a tension like no other. 

The challenge in talking about it is understandable but also imposes its own costs. It can put a freeze on relationships, or make people feel abandoned or isolated. There can be value in honest, compassionate conversations about difficult topics where the goal is to increase our own understanding and education. We should be humble about such conversations – changing someone’s mind is unlikely. But there are gains in being able to sit, listen, be heard and maintain relationship in difficult circumstances.

Below, let’s consider why this topic has posed such unique challenges. There’s not going to be any easy answers here but there might be value in better understanding some of the forces at play for those we engage with in our daily lives.

Why This Topic is So Difficult for Jews

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Jewish history is so unique. If you go back far enough, I presume almost every group has experienced discrimination, prejudice and persecution – some currently, others long ago. But Jews are unique in the duration of how long they have been targeted. Whether you look a hundred years ago, five hundred years ago, or even a thousand years into the past, the story looks disturbingly similar. The particulars vary but the theme of persecution persists.

Add to that the horror of the Holocaust and Jews are understandably concerned with safety and security. These concerns have been growing in recent years because even before October 7 incidences of antisemitism had been setting new highs. Since about 2016, antisemitism has seen a surprising surge in both Canada and the USA. Jews were already writing about their growing dread that antisemitism – after decades of decline or being below historical norms – was suddenly growing at an alarming rate. The 2018 Pittsburgh synagogue shooting was the worst massacre of Jews in American history. The second worst happened just months later at a New Jersey kosher market. 

With this as context, imagine the sheer horror on October 7 of witnessing the greatest loss of Jewish life in a single day since WWII. For years, some parties in the Arab world have spread antisemitism in school textbooks or promised and predicted that Israel will soon cease to exist. This was the context for that dreaded day. Back here, antisemitism has hit new records since October 7 including a killing in the USA and hate crimes in Canada.

Another exacerbating factor many may not grasp is that most North American Jews have direct personal connections with Israel. Their brother, parents, in-laws, etc. live there. And Israel is tiny (smaller than Lake Erie). Many have either lost a loved one, know someone who lost a loved one, or have someone close to them who was in the neighbouring village on October 7 or who is serving in the military today. 

Finally, Jews in North America are encountering something a bit new – namely relationships within the community fraying due to differences over Israel. To be clear, differing opinions on Israeli politics has always existed but today, some Jews have become far more critical of Israel at a time that others feel Israel is under dire threat. This internal division has been written about and I’ve heard from Jewish friends about family bonds being severed. 

Image: New York Times by Ezra Klein

In short, for many Jews, this time seems more fraught than any time in their lives.

Why This Topic is So Difficult for Muslims

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To Muslims, the suffering of Palestinians – and its visual availability to us via scenes of devastation – seems to them as clear cut a case as imaginable that war crimes are being committed. For Muslims, this is exacerbated by a history of Islamophobia and a feeling, amongst some, that Muslim lives are less valuable. Many have noted a contrast with Ukraine for while the West has been widely supportive of Ukraine, condemnation of Israel has been slower to come and more mixed with the United States often providing arms to Israel and the American president musing about relocating everyone in Gaza. 

The comparisons with Ukraine omit some issues – there is no Hamas and no October 7 on the Ukrainian side – but almost two years have passed since the original attack and the devastation in Gaza seems endless.

A further issue for many Palestinian supporters is the feeling that no paths are permitted. For decades, some Palestinians have appealed to human rights bodies and international organizations like the United Nations, but nothing has been able to stop the constantly expanding settlements in the West Bank. Others attempted to mobilize the international community by advocating for tactics similar to those used against South Africa’s apartheid regime – namely the boycott, divestment, and sanctions approach sometimes called BDS to get governments to economically pressure Israel. This approach has also failed with pro-Israeli voices calling it antisemitic and even in some places. In short, non-violence paths, whether diplomatic or economic, have yielded no gains. In fact, the opposite occurs as with each passing year, the West Bank is being lost settlement by settlement to Israel. 

Many Muslims deny Israel is merely going after Hamas as they note the wholesale destruction of society (e.g. demolishing universities, cutting off water systems and electricity). Some members of the Israeli government say disturbing things like “all Gaza will be destroyed” or that Israel should “occupy all of Gaza” and “stop humanitarian aid.” In addition, but less known by many in the West, is that attacks in the West Bank have grown even though the people in the West Bank had nothing to do with October 7.

And of course, all of this has been intensified mightily by the famine conditions of recent months.

Muslims overwhelmingly consider the war a genocide, a view supported by many experts (including some Israeli and Jewish scholars) and see the war condemned by international bodies, by aid organizations  or human rights organizations on the ground…and yet nothing seems to matter.

Why This Topic is So Difficult for the Rest of Us

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For those of us without direction connections to this war, it has still been difficult to discuss. Partly, many of us wonder whether we know enough to speak up. Most North Americans lack first-person connections to the tragedy and don’t have eyes and ears on the ground. 

In addition, we value relationships we have with people from these communities. We live in a diverse society and may have neighbours, friends and colleagues on either side of this issue or sometimes both. Harming relationships for a conflict far away that you likely cannot impact might seem to yield no benefit for some. We are naturally inclined too, to support those we feel connected to.

Conversely, others feel a moral obligation to speak out. There can be a sense of culpability to stay silent in the face of what many consider to be a critical issue, be it the surging of antisemitism or the horror of famine and societal devastation.

Certainly in the interfaith field, there has never been a more divisive issue. Long-standing relationships have suffered. Toronto’s Jewish and Muslims leaders have long been connected to one another and been allies as the two communities that suffer the most religiously-motivated hate crimes. Those relationships are being eroded, challenged and severely tested.

On the flip side, there has simultaneously been a growing recognition that dialogue across religious difference is not some fluffy issue but one with serious consequences. The idea that religion doesn’t matter is hard to maintain in our current world. 

What to do?  

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How should we act when solving the actual problem is clearly beyond us? There’s no golden answer but some things to consider are:

• • Be there for folks – if you know people personally impacted, try to be supportive towards them. There is a lot for folks to deal with.
  • Listening to learn and understand can be a deeply ethical act. Especially with difficult subjects like this one, our conversation partner deserves our full attention and our compassionate efforts to clarify and understand. 
  • Maintain relationships – even if your view differs from someone you know, if you can, there is real benefit to maintaining a relationship despite difference and possibly strain. It is ethics in practice and relationships are often the best way we learn and come to appreciate views we did not originally hold.
  • Promote justice – if you are inclined, there are ways to support your views via either charitable giving or writing politicians.
  • Educate yourself. These issues are complex and there are many great podcasts and other forms of education that will deepen your understanding.

At Encounter, our focus is always education and religious literacy and, to that end, we have some offerings that might be of value on this topic. We created a pair of blogs immediately after October 7 on the historical context (part I and part II), further blogs on antisemitism and Islamophobia, as well as a more recent piece about an author who relates personal accounts from people who have lived in Gaza for decades. Writers and podcasters like Yair Rosenberg, Yossi Klein Halevi, Mehdi Hasan and Shadi Hamid are all valuable sources.

Finally, if you are part of an organization which may be wrestling with this issue, we have created a talk on the issue that has been very positively received by both Muslims and Jews and by diverse audiences including public groups in Canada and the USA, police services, private schools, and NGOs. The talk has been valued by audiences for helping lend clarity. If this is of interest to your learning group, professional association, or employer, just reach out. 

It is distressing to realize we are not too far from the second anniversary of the initial attack with no end in sight. We hope and pray that an end will come soon.